Are you a gossip?

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IN THIS POST YOU’LL LEARN:
  • How to quickly recognize gossip
  • Are you a gossip yourself?
  • What are the beneficial effects of gossiping?
  • When gossiping becomes a tool of control?
  • What is the magic of gossiping?

Do you know these situations when someone in your presence begins to tell you about other people who aren’t present? Or maybe you know such situations when you talk about the absent yourself?

Scan your conversations

What is the most common theme for such conversations in your circles? Praising or criticizing and blaming other people? Expressing respect for others or quiet intention to discredit? Telling about their successes and achievements, or rather shortcomings and imperfections? How are your conversations about those who aren’t present?

Gossip’s bad fame

When we think of gossip, in our minds it’s rather associated with something negative. None of us want to be seen as a gossiper. After all, we do it “behind the backs” of other people so they don’t hear what we say.

Are you a gossip?

Gossip is an unproven information. It usually refers to other people. What’s interesting, gossip is an important element of social life. Gossip research shows that about two-thirds of our daily conversations is gossiping. The conclusion is that in fact each one of us is a gossip. You just have to admit it without beating about the bush.

In fact, each one of us is a gossip. You just have to admit it without beating about the bush.

Gossip’s beneficial effects

The boundary between gossip as such and the destructive gossiping is fluid and difficult to catch. Generally, we think about gossip negatively, but one has to admit that there are situations when gossip may have a beneficial effect.

For example, if we have a reasonable suspicion that another person exceeds the generally accepted norm, let’s say steals. Then by “providing information”, we can sensitize others to the possible threat of theft. This enables the community to react. By being vigilant they can protect themselves from potential theft or catch a thief red-handed.

Voila! This is gossip’s beneficial effect. Maybe it’s the source of its popularity. As a social practice gossip is supposed to protect communities from people who aren’t trustworthy.

Gossip as a tool of control

Nevertheless, gossiping can also be a destructive habit. We spread it when we want to manipulate in relationships with others for selfish purposes. About gossip as a destructive habit I say more in the next post.

The magic of gossip

It comes out that gossiping is the norm because we do it universally. However, I wonder how it happens that we easily see others as gossipers, but not ourselves? I talk more broadly about this magical phenomenon of our minds in the next post.

A working definition of gossiping

Can we assume that gossiping is talking about absent people, the things that we wouldn’t say in their presence? This also excludes the cordiality, honesty and genuine sympathy for the person being tittle-tattled. As a result of the gossip, the image of the person is simply maligned. And the one who spreads the gossip wants to gain something by doing so.

VERY INNER QUESTION (VIQ)

Recall your conversations.

Where do you most often witness gossiping or you spread different information about other people?

I am curious what are your observations and opinion on this matter. Comment below.

See all posts in the series

  • 4 masks of gossip
  • Are you a gossip?
  • Gossiping as a habit
  • To gossip or not to gossip- You decide
  • What's hidden under 4 masks of gossip?
  • 6 shields against gossip
  • How to shift the habit of gossiping?
  • Inner Adventure! 21 days without gossiping

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